Catching Up Session

Friday, December 1, 2017 7:21 AM ?

[End Of 2017]

It seems forever I didn't update my blog. I just realized that I had a draft of 'University Life' but didn't publish. HAHA. So it's the end of 2017 already. I am already in the end of semester 3. 2 more semester to go to finish my diploma and then internship then idk where to go, insyaAllah I'm going to proceed with degree. Need to find the passion of wanting to learn more than I have currently. It has been quite a journey in the University life honestly. Lot's of stuffs I've learned. From friends, studying, confidency, family, and also my ownself. So many stories to tell yet don't know where to begin.

Hm. Well.

Lets start with Short Sem when I started my University, more than a year ago, at the time I was really into my passion. Passion for what? Passion to find friends, to be friendly, to be positive in everything I do, to study and make my family proud, to easily get along with anyone, to bring my inner confidence and shine. TO SEE AND BE SEEN. That was my kinda motivation quote that I want to make myself for wanting to be shine. and I had it ... But it seems not me, it's not comfortable for me. The socializing life is not for me, it's not like I want to be, they were to socialize makes myself not comfort with it. Or maybe that kind of group that not suites me, who knows right? But I do made friends who likes to socialize. I made other friends too by socialize with them. If yalls wanna know, I am kinda introvert but not that kinda introvert, as I said, I wanna be shine but at the same time, the anxiety, the 'wanted to be a good muslim' really pulls me back. SO overall in the short semester I kinda had it all, except for studies. Being with socializing people and forgot to study? yupss and I got 3.2something GPA. That was not that bad but for a short semester and not got a dean cgpa? thats kinda sucks but Alhamdulillah, I've met someone who boost me up into study when we were in semester 1.

Semester 1, I've met someone that is special to me. He boosted me up into study till I got 3.6 for my GPA! And it was a sad semester, my close girl friend moved to another college because she said she couldn't get along with the subjects in our course. It was sad because we were always together anywhere and everywhere. Semester 1 kinda okay. well kinda great actually. where the teamwork was okay. Everyone gave their best and listened and cooperation and yeah it was fine. We had fun in socializing and also in assignments and studies, or atleast I had fun.

And...

There goes .. Semester 2. Where it started to drain my passion, my confidency .. At first in the semester I feel empty because my close boy friends moved from JT Hostel to JPE Hostel which was NOT in a same area. I feel empty. I feel jealous because they had fun without me. And I thought by being in same group for assignments was okay, was the time when we could be together, like we used to in the semester before. But things changed, they were lacked of cooperation and all. Maybe too busy with their life and forgot about assignments. BUT LUCKILY I have someone for myself to rant to, to share my sadness, to help with my works. and it's HIM! He literally helped me, like how THANKFUL I am, seriously! At the same time, I met a girl and we were kinda closed friend. It was okay at the first, we talked and she shares her secrets with me. I am a listener, I love to listen to people's problems and would love to tell advices. Maybe that's what she likes about me, a listener and started to be such a clingy girl. I don't mind at first but she drains my innerself, my confidency, and my passion. Maybe not that obvious but even a small things happend many times could be a big problem. Not wanted to state what she did here cause it's gonne be a long post. and that's kinda it. happend in the semester 2.

SEMESTER 3. Which is here we are. Where I lost my motivation, my passion, my confidency, my postivity and everything. I lost myself that I've built since 3 years ago since the last time I fought with myself, with my THOUGHTS. and I still have him. The someone special. He is helping but not that helping. get it? Not gonna blame him for anything, but to be here with me when I'm on my low, that's more than enough sayang <3 Not to forget Laila also helped me when I lose myself. She helped a lot, she went to my campus, stayed with me in my hostel, me stayed in her hostel, accomponied each other shopping and all, thank you laila <3 All the lost feelings arose when I cut her (the girl from the semester before) from my life. The 'I have no friends' feelings and much more I couldn't state here into words. But I'm gonna be fine, insyaAllah. I am fine, despite my stupid thoughts and all, I'm fine. I wanted to be fine. But, what is fine? I have my family. I have my best friend. I have him. I have Allah, the One, the Most Precious that I can pray for my best to be fine. He knows the best for me. I have faith in Him. He knows what kind of fine suites me well. He planned all, He knows all. and everything's gonna be successfully fine and blessed as long I connected to Him every single seconds, minutes, hours, days, years and every breath of my life. Alhamdulillah.

So that's the catching up session with me. I love myself, I wanted to be love by me, I wanted to love every part of myself ... again </3

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Catching Up Session

Friday, December 1, 2017 7:21 AM ?

[End Of 2017]

It seems forever I didn't update my blog. I just realized that I had a draft of 'University Life' but didn't publish. HAHA. So it's the end of 2017 already. I am already in the end of semester 3. 2 more semester to go to finish my diploma and then internship then idk where to go, insyaAllah I'm going to proceed with degree. Need to find the passion of wanting to learn more than I have currently. It has been quite a journey in the University life honestly. Lot's of stuffs I've learned. From friends, studying, confidency, family, and also my ownself. So many stories to tell yet don't know where to begin.

Hm. Well.

Lets start with Short Sem when I started my University, more than a year ago, at the time I was really into my passion. Passion for what? Passion to find friends, to be friendly, to be positive in everything I do, to study and make my family proud, to easily get along with anyone, to bring my inner confidence and shine. TO SEE AND BE SEEN. That was my kinda motivation quote that I want to make myself for wanting to be shine. and I had it ... But it seems not me, it's not comfortable for me. The socializing life is not for me, it's not like I want to be, they were to socialize makes myself not comfort with it. Or maybe that kind of group that not suites me, who knows right? But I do made friends who likes to socialize. I made other friends too by socialize with them. If yalls wanna know, I am kinda introvert but not that kinda introvert, as I said, I wanna be shine but at the same time, the anxiety, the 'wanted to be a good muslim' really pulls me back. SO overall in the short semester I kinda had it all, except for studies. Being with socializing people and forgot to study? yupss and I got 3.2something GPA. That was not that bad but for a short semester and not got a dean cgpa? thats kinda sucks but Alhamdulillah, I've met someone who boost me up into study when we were in semester 1.

Semester 1, I've met someone that is special to me. He boosted me up into study till I got 3.6 for my GPA! And it was a sad semester, my close girl friend moved to another college because she said she couldn't get along with the subjects in our course. It was sad because we were always together anywhere and everywhere. Semester 1 kinda okay. well kinda great actually. where the teamwork was okay. Everyone gave their best and listened and cooperation and yeah it was fine. We had fun in socializing and also in assignments and studies, or atleast I had fun.

And...

There goes .. Semester 2. Where it started to drain my passion, my confidency .. At first in the semester I feel empty because my close boy friends moved from JT Hostel to JPE Hostel which was NOT in a same area. I feel empty. I feel jealous because they had fun without me. And I thought by being in same group for assignments was okay, was the time when we could be together, like we used to in the semester before. But things changed, they were lacked of cooperation and all. Maybe too busy with their life and forgot about assignments. BUT LUCKILY I have someone for myself to rant to, to share my sadness, to help with my works. and it's HIM! He literally helped me, like how THANKFUL I am, seriously! At the same time, I met a girl and we were kinda closed friend. It was okay at the first, we talked and she shares her secrets with me. I am a listener, I love to listen to people's problems and would love to tell advices. Maybe that's what she likes about me, a listener and started to be such a clingy girl. I don't mind at first but she drains my innerself, my confidency, and my passion. Maybe not that obvious but even a small things happend many times could be a big problem. Not wanted to state what she did here cause it's gonne be a long post. and that's kinda it. happend in the semester 2.

SEMESTER 3. Which is here we are. Where I lost my motivation, my passion, my confidency, my postivity and everything. I lost myself that I've built since 3 years ago since the last time I fought with myself, with my THOUGHTS. and I still have him. The someone special. He is helping but not that helping. get it? Not gonna blame him for anything, but to be here with me when I'm on my low, that's more than enough sayang <3 Not to forget Laila also helped me when I lose myself. She helped a lot, she went to my campus, stayed with me in my hostel, me stayed in her hostel, accomponied each other shopping and all, thank you laila <3 All the lost feelings arose when I cut her (the girl from the semester before) from my life. The 'I have no friends' feelings and much more I couldn't state here into words. But I'm gonna be fine, insyaAllah. I am fine, despite my stupid thoughts and all, I'm fine. I wanted to be fine. But, what is fine? I have my family. I have my best friend. I have him. I have Allah, the One, the Most Precious that I can pray for my best to be fine. He knows the best for me. I have faith in Him. He knows what kind of fine suites me well. He planned all, He knows all. and everything's gonna be successfully fine and blessed as long I connected to Him every single seconds, minutes, hours, days, years and every breath of my life. Alhamdulillah.

So that's the catching up session with me. I love myself, I wanted to be love by me, I wanted to love every part of myself ... again </3

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?